WARNING: this movie may kill you from laughter. SERIOUSLY. i once knew a guy who didn't make it. so please, tread carefully when viewing.
sh-t. i hope i don't Munson this post. because i love Bill Murray in this movie SO MUCH, and his performance as Ernie "Big Ern" McCracken deserves proper recognition. the whole movie, in fact, merits a f-cking circle jerk because it's too damn funny. Kingpin is one of those movies that i will pop in at anytime. there is no "mood" i have to be in to enjoy or appreciate it fully. it's gold ALWAYS. whether you're sick in bed, bored, sad, in a good mood, if someone just died...there is always an occasion for it to be the go-to movie. and it's not a movie that you have to watch from the start - if you catch it halfway through, no problem because you'll totally be able to follow the plot. it's bowling. however, it would be an absolute shame to miss even a second of the amazingness that is Big Ern... so my advice to you would be to watch it (always) from the start.
so let's begin with the fabulous Woody Harrelson as Roy Munson in that 1979 flashback intro clip. when he struts into the bowling alley like he owns the place - his hand alone gets an applause. please. and the women. how hilarious is it that he's like a rockstar? that just the sight of such a good BOWLER (just his HAND) makes the crowd weak in the knees? Roy's father, who taught him everything he knows about bowling, looks at his son like a proud papa. after all, his son has it all - fame. women. success. respect. a right hand. insert fellow bowler Ernie "Big Ern McCracken" - Roy Munson's nemesis. we meet Big Ern at the Odor-Eaters bowling tournament... wait. let's sit with the fact that it's an Odor-Eaters hosted event for just a minute, shall we?
...
right. so, i love how we immediately get a taste of Big Ern's attitude when he's doing the voice-over as Roy is concentrating on his next (and final) throw. how he calls Roy "Man-Child". Bill in this is so disgusting. so despicable. so perfectly hilarious. i adore how ridiculously cocky Big Ern is. have you ever seen such an unattractive character with so much bravado and confidence in a backbrace? he is SUCH a perfect jerk. a total slimeball. even his smile, no - sneer - is completely insincere. a viewer watches and thinks he's gross. but he's not, because in Big Ern's world, the bowling world (the only one that counts) he really is a god.
everything about Big Ern's look is amazing in Kingpin - the whole package is so disturbing. and his clothes - aparently Bill insisted on styling his entire character, from the bowling ball (that floating rose!), to the wrist guard, to his hair, to the backbrace. OMG. his backbrace makes me so happy.
and the hair (i'm sorry, but the hair merits its own paragraph) - Big Ern's mega comb-over is f-cking EPIC. it's almost its own character. and in the final Roy-Ern bowling showdown, when it flips up and takes on a life of its own - incredible. overall, i think the bowling commentator later in the Reno sequence sums up Ernie's style best: "a guy like Big Ern, with his panache and style, has clearly done for bowling what Muhammad Ali did for boxing."
Woody Harrelson is amazing as Roy Munson (whose name becomes the definition for a person who has the whole world in the palm of his hand and pisses it all away). i love Woody, and he seems made for this part. his face. his teeth. his beaten down raspy voice. and his outdated clothes are awesome - i can smell the moths from here (but i would, however, totally wear his hat). it's safe to say that i'm pretty obsessed with Roy's hook and rubber hand. like when he rips his jacket sleeves with his hook when he tries to put his arm through, or when he coochie-coos the baby with his creepy hook - how it opens and closes! and then with the replacement rubber hand - the sound of the air that squeaks from it everytime he or anyone else touches his fingers. the scene when Roy goes to court Ishmael (Ish) at his home in Amish country is awesome. how Roy pretends to be a "Brother Hezakiah" with the family, and how when asked if he has any children, Roy explains that he's unable to have children due to a "nasty cheese-grating accident as a young man" - seriously? SERIOUSLY? this line alone merits some sort of comedy writing award. i also love the scene when Roy's trying to help out on the farm and milks the cow, only to realizes that Ish's family don't in fact have a cow - they have a bull. and when Roy drinks the "milk" he just milked out of the bull with a handjob - it doesn't get much better than this people. or when he saws off Buttercup the horse's feet off to get its shoes off? the sounds of the sawing and the crazy neighing in the background is exceptional. one of the things that makes Kingpin so fantastic is that even the unfunny jokes are really, really funny.
the casting in this movie is perfect. every little small character from the bowling alley workers, to the waitresses, conveinience store clerks, to Roy's neighbours. shit yo', Roy's old neighbour Herb who's on the oxagen tank delivers one of my favourite lines in the movie. when Roy asks him how's life? Herb replies "Taking forever." Roy's Landlady, played disgustingly and ridiculously well by Lin Shaye (and her tongue)... so disturbing. but the scene when she comes into Roy's apartment with food to thank him for saving her life from the purse snatcher, and she's got the flower in her hair to to look pretty? aww... but then when she realizes it was all a scam Roy cooked up to buy some time on paying the rent, she comes up with an, err, arrangement. the look in her eye, and then cue the music: Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence" begins to play as we see her lying in bed satisfied with a post-coital smoke "Hello darkness, my own friend..." and we see Roy, disgusted with what he's just done, barfing in the toilet sick to his stomach.
and the hair (i'm sorry, but the hair merits its own paragraph) - Big Ern's mega comb-over is f-cking EPIC. it's almost its own character. and in the final Roy-Ern bowling showdown, when it flips up and takes on a life of its own - incredible. overall, i think the bowling commentator later in the Reno sequence sums up Ernie's style best: "a guy like Big Ern, with his panache and style, has clearly done for bowling what Muhammad Ali did for boxing."
Woody Harrelson is amazing as Roy Munson (whose name becomes the definition for a person who has the whole world in the palm of his hand and pisses it all away). i love Woody, and he seems made for this part. his face. his teeth. his beaten down raspy voice. and his outdated clothes are awesome - i can smell the moths from here (but i would, however, totally wear his hat). it's safe to say that i'm pretty obsessed with Roy's hook and rubber hand. like when he rips his jacket sleeves with his hook when he tries to put his arm through, or when he coochie-coos the baby with his creepy hook - how it opens and closes! and then with the replacement rubber hand - the sound of the air that squeaks from it everytime he or anyone else touches his fingers. the scene when Roy goes to court Ishmael (Ish) at his home in Amish country is awesome. how Roy pretends to be a "Brother Hezakiah" with the family, and how when asked if he has any children, Roy explains that he's unable to have children due to a "nasty cheese-grating accident as a young man" - seriously? SERIOUSLY? this line alone merits some sort of comedy writing award. i also love the scene when Roy's trying to help out on the farm and milks the cow, only to realizes that Ish's family don't in fact have a cow - they have a bull. and when Roy drinks the "milk" he just milked out of the bull with a handjob - it doesn't get much better than this people. or when he saws off Buttercup the horse's feet off to get its shoes off? the sounds of the sawing and the crazy neighing in the background is exceptional. one of the things that makes Kingpin so fantastic is that even the unfunny jokes are really, really funny.
the casting in this movie is perfect. every little small character from the bowling alley workers, to the waitresses, conveinience store clerks, to Roy's neighbours. shit yo', Roy's old neighbour Herb who's on the oxagen tank delivers one of my favourite lines in the movie. when Roy asks him how's life? Herb replies "Taking forever." Roy's Landlady, played disgustingly and ridiculously well by Lin Shaye (and her tongue)... so disturbing. but the scene when she comes into Roy's apartment with food to thank him for saving her life from the purse snatcher, and she's got the flower in her hair to to look pretty? aww... but then when she realizes it was all a scam Roy cooked up to buy some time on paying the rent, she comes up with an, err, arrangement. the look in her eye, and then cue the music: Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence" begins to play as we see her lying in bed satisfied with a post-coital smoke "Hello darkness, my own friend..." and we see Roy, disgusted with what he's just done, barfing in the toilet sick to his stomach.
Randy Quaid. how is it that Randy Quaid looks 14-years-old in this movie? is it the Amish pageboy hair? whatever it is, Randy's fantastic as Ishmael. i really like it when he tells Roy what he likes in his coffee - how he says and repeats "LOTSA cream." the delivery is perfect. or when upon seeing the itty-bitty tattoo on his chest and freaks out (and doesn't see the HUGE droopy-titted woman tattoo on his back? - so fun). and when his sweet boyish voice gets all upset and snarls that he doesn't wanna go home but "he wants to go to Reno." i also love it when Ish works as a female drag queen stripper - his mouth in that garish lipstick is terrifying.
the Indecent Proposal reference scene in Reno makes me die every time. i seriously become scared for my life when Chris Elliott appears on the screen in that tux. and then when he makes the proposal to have Ish for a night:"1 million dollars. One night. Cash." cue scene of an ecstatic Roy playing in a pile of money to the song "Like a Virgin" while Ish is lying belly down on a bed, gargling mouthwash as he ices his ass.
and when Big Ern makes his appearance in Reno? when he's being interviewed at the hotel about the paternity dispute he's in? can we just take a moment to appreciate this phenomenal line: "Let's not even talk about that... I pulled out of her really early on that one." pure love. OMG, and when he signs an autograph for a woman and as he hands it to her he says "I'm in 1103" under his breath. and i love the sound of Bill's voice when he sees Claudia again - his voice comes across so insincere and vain. and when he says how "creepy" Roy's hand is, and cracks the joke about "twisting his arm" - Ern's smile, and then snort and giggle are adorably perverse. did you know that Bill improvised virtually ALL of his lines in this movie? that he just looked over the script to get a general idea and then went with it? how brilliant is that.
and the montages are also a really good time. this movie has, count 'em: 8 motherf-cking montages. like when Roy is first coaching Ish, and when Claudia is tramping it up in the allies to distract the opponents to help get her boys wins. and when Roy gets his hook stuck in the bungee cord - WHY IS THERE A BUNGEE-JUMPING SCENE IN THIS MOVIE??? it SO doesn't matter - you know why? because it's a motherf-cking montage. but the greatest montages are at the Reno tournament with Roy playing against Big Ern in the finals. the music, Bill's spins and hump moves. his face. the intensity and concentration. his form. legend. a fun little bit of trivia is that Bill really got three strikes in a row at the end, so when the crowd goes wild, they're being genuine. how fantastic is that? apparently, however, Woody is a terrible bowler and barely got two strikes in the entire filming. oh, and do you recognize the voice that screams "Ernie, you 'da man!" in the final bowling showdown? Will Farrell. (why does that make me like, really happy?)
anyway, another near-death laughing experience is the tv commercial of Ern sponsoring "fatherless families" of hot mothers for his "Unified Fund"? when he's standing with the moms, with his hand slipped in one of their skirts? f-ck me that's a great commercial. "It's a tough world. These kids nearly got Munsoned, but they're back now." did you know that the entire commercial was ad-libbed by Bill? of course it was. but my favourite scene, the one that makes me love life and thank god that i'm alive, is when Ish tries to punch Big Ern and Ern runs away terrified with this great spin and hop, not before telling Claudia he's in room 1103.
!!!
and i just love it that Big Ern wins in the end. is he the bad guy? yes, but he's so bad he's good. i'm always so happy that he wins - and i don't think you're supposed to feel sorry for Roy either, because Big Ern NEEDS to win. life isn't fair. life is sh-t and you've got a rubber hand. and the guy who gave it to you is rolling in a million bucks laughing his ass off. sorry Roy, but Big Ern is, as he says, above the law and can buy himself out of anything now... of course he can. he's Big Ern.
*note that the first few seconds of the clip are scrambled, but then He appears. enjoy.
[to his waitress] "Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?" Big Ern (Bill Murray) in Kingpin
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